natural disastergay is right, the gu-gu-jit-bai depression bug is back in town! WARNING: Neo Ying Ying is gonna
cry heavily.. people, dun say i never warn you, please make necessary precautions for the upcoming FLOOD! im not exaggerating i tell you.. the trauma im going thru now is totally beyond your imagination..
firstly, my FYP.. please believe me when i say its screwed.. i might end up not graduating! im NOT kidding! if thats the case, my 3 yrs in ntu is completely wasted!!! my youth, my effort, my money!!! the price is too high i cannot afford.. but its going to happen soon!!!
secondly, quarter-life crisis.. i guess tis happens to every graduating(provided i can) undergrad.. i dunno wat i wan in life.. i dunno wat im good at.. i dunno if i wan to further me studies.. i dunno wat kind of lifestyle i prefer.. i dunno wat kind of environment suits me.. i dunno if i can be independent.. basically im feel v bleak abt my future.. i cannot make up my mind.. its all abt decisions DECISIONS
DECISIONS!!!
thirdly, im currently having a war wif myself.. because i simply hate myself.. i dun like e way i handle things.. i dun like how easily i let my emotions take over the rational side of me.. i dun like it when i run away from things.. i dun like it when i feel lousy about myself.. i dun like it when i allow ppl to put me down.. i dun like everything abt me, myself n i.. ARGH!!!
lastly, i shld stop living in my lala-land.. REALITY please!!! sometimes u already know from the start it is wrong/irreversible/final/damaging etc, BUT u still purposely go and do it!!! for wat??? for nothing.. i did it cos my skin itchy.. ????? so many times in my life, i lost to my own implusiveness.. yet i nv learn.. n still living in self denial.. but how many times can i deceive myself and be convinced?
