havin depression every now n then has became a norm.. hopefully when my work starts tmr.. those gaps will b filled..
i still cannot resist e temptation to write in tt journal which i've been keepin since yr 2003.. because during his army days.. i've got so much to tell him yet so little time to do so.. tt journal is for me to pen down my tots n some everyday happenings so tt he can read during e weekends when he book out.. n i'll decorate every page so tt it would b eye-pleasin n he wont feel bored.. it used to be a medium of communication.. bilateral communication.. but now it has became unilateral.. intention n meanin of writing has changed.. everything has changed.. but tis habit hasnt.. i know its a bad habit tt i need to quit.. but i juz cant.. guess im juz born silly.. mayb part of me is still livin in e hope tt he wil get to read it someday.. but on e other hand.. i din wan him to know wat reality has done to me when he wasnt by my side.. *confused*
he's one in a million.. which means i'll hav to meet one million more ppl to find someone like him.. in spore alone onli 4 ppl meet e criteria.. imagine one might alr b in his eighties.. e other might b married wif kids.. e last one is still an infant. omg! dai ji dua diao!
