was bz wif my grandpa's funeral e past week.. tt's y i haven been updating.. e demise of my ah gong was quite a great blow to me.. 1st.. he was so healthy all along.. yet he suffered e same fate as my uncle.. instant death frm asthma atttack.. my family has a long history of asthma.. including me.. consecutive 2 person dying frm asthma.. its juz so scary.. actuallie he had asthma for quite some time le.. but since its CNY.. he refuse to consult a doctor.. until tt very day.. he decided to go GH aft some persistent persuasion.. as someone who wants to look presentable.. he insisted on changing into pants b4 my auntie drive him over to GH.. who noes.. he nv had a chance to change into his pants.. it was sudden.. no one expected it.. coz havin asthma to my ah gong is so common.. n usualli it can b kept under control using inhalers n medications.. life is so fragile.. bt e time e ambulance came.. it was all too late.. no more pulse.. nothing can revive him.. i was there.. watchin e helpless paramedics.. my hands n feet went cold.. juz like e body lying down there.. e 2nd reason y it hit me so hard is e fact tt i respected my ah gong e most.. among e men in my family.. onli ah gong is worth respecting.. all my ah gong's sons.. including my father.. r good-for-nothings.. n i regretted giving him attitude n not callin him when i had a bad day.. i shld hav tokked to him more.. w/o ah gong.. my family is in a complete mess now.. power struggles.. family politics.. brothers fightin over money.. daughter-in-laws backstabbing each other.. i had enuff.. n now with e extra workload due to 1 whole week of absence.. im totally drained..
fortunately i had my darlin n frenz with me all these while.. i guess im fine now.. felt so much better.. darling came to e funeral everyday to keep me n my family company.. talked to my brothers n cousins.. entertain my frenz who dropped by.. looks after my ah ma.. buy food for e family etc.. reallie gotta thank him.. n over e funeral.. i found out something tt almost drove me crazy.. my youngest brother smokes!!! damnit!!! he looked so sick n listless everyday.. running nose n stuff.. n i wonder y.. it was thru e other brother tt i knew e ultimate truth.. i was heartbroken.. n my mummy actually knows abt it.. all along!! n i was kept in e dark.. e worse thing now is tt my mummy suspects he's on some drugs.. it sounds atrocious to me.. but seriously there's tis possibility.. lookin at e kind of frenz he hang ard wif.. his fren had nail polish!!! yes a guy painting his nails wif red n black on alternate nails.. damn.. wats happening to e world out there.. i knew my bro shoplifts n stuff.. but i tot it was ok becoz alot of my frenz did tt when they were young too.. but accordin to e other bro of mine.. his frenz were all caught.. n my youngest bro was e onli one who got away.. omg.. i reallie dunno wat to do wif them anymore.. i always feel tt i have e responsibility in teaching them all e right values since my parents dun.. now i feel so lost..
saturday was e day things started to turn out better.. i went shoppin!!! retail therapy did help!!! i bot 6 tops, a pair of shoes, n a pair of earrings which i've been wantin to buy for quite some time.. i felt so so so happie.. unfortunately.. outta e 6 tops i've bought.. there's onli 1 in which i can wear at e moment.. as for e remaining 5.. most of them r pink in color.. hot pink somemore.. so i cant wear them until 49 daes later..haiz..
den yest.. i met my proj grp in town to do our report.. on a sunday!! but hell.. there is this guy in my grp.. he drives a bmw 6 series.. has 4 family cars.. double specialization.. wil be finishing his undergrad studies 1 sem earlier than e rest.. not bad lookin.. tall n well-built.. damn.. he's taken!!! shit!! if not mayb can intro to ppl like sf.. he's a gd catch.. hahahaha..
alrite i'll b updating more recently frm now on.. hopefully.. gotta go for proj meetin.. tataz
