no more lectures.. left wif a few more tutorials tis week b4 everyone starts to mug.. in fact many have already started.. haiz.. i sort of condemn kiasu muggers.. they juz turn me off.. haha.. mayb im jealous of their results.. but hey.. not all muggers.. or rather not all kiasu muggers have gd results.. watever.. i wil do it my pace.. dun u dare stress me by all ur kiasu behaviour.. i wont b intimidated.. bleah..
examz.. nv fails to reveal the ugly side of ppl.. not tt im an angel.. tis world is too harsh a condition for any angel to survive.. u need to b selfish, scheming, pretentious, ruthless in order to b the survival of survivals.. tt's y i tink i can nv handle office politics.. anw.. im not ur competitor.. im juz a loser struggling to pass examz.. i compete wif myself not anyone.. so there's absolutely no need to regard me as some ass who'll make u lose ur A coz i do better than u.. tt's lame ok?
u can say im clever.. anythng u like.. but i definitely sux at studies.. since sem 1 till now.. i hav not gotten any A.. n i da bao-ed stats.. which im quite confident i'll da bao again.. my results doesnt reallie tell ppl im smart.. or rather, hardworking.. anything can b achieved by hardwork.. not intelligence.. no use being clever but lazy.. e ppl u should worry abt r those hardcore muggers.. not ppl who always skip lesson as n when she like.. ok?
some ppl r reallie lame.. sorrie i hav better things to do.. like taking an afternoon nap.. no time for ur nonsense..
went to school to study again on sat.. haha.. not productive as well.. coz i got other thngs to do.. spent e whole afternoon in e mac lab of sch of comm studies.. to search for useful articles for my stats assignment.. anw its an interestin experience.. 1st time i use mac computer.. paiseh ah v sua ku.. there's no right click.. everything seemed so foreign to me.. then darlin's grpmate showed me e video they took.. i was so bu shuang abt tt damn bed scene.. wah lau.. darlin n e gal seem so intimate.. to them i shldnt feel anything coz its ok.. guess i can nv integrate into e CS culture.. not tt i care but.. life juz sucks when u find so many ppl wif a darker side than u.. u feel so fragile..
den went to e benches outside S4 to study.. wif je n sw.. je is gd.. he can clear my doubts.. while sw.. i tink he's.. haha.. best.. e physics textbook is like how thick.. according to him.. it can cover 2 modules.. im so fortunate to b in biz.. engineers reallie suffer..
den aft studying.. darlin brought me to yunnan garden.. den we found a vacant pavilion.. den he took out his mp3.. lemme listen to songs.. ask me close my eyes.. haha.. den he gave me a surprise!! when i opened my eyes i saw beautiful sparks!! he brought e fireworks stick.. haha.. den we played wif it.. so cheezy.. but we din stay for long.. coz we scared got mosquitos.. n he's rushin to watch soccer.. hmmm.. thou tis is not somethng new to me.. but look at his face.. who can picture him doin such a things man.. tt's e reason y im touched..
sun has always been e least productive day of e week.. i always slp tis day away.. like wat i did yest.. haha.. i suck.. slpin is bad enuff.. darlin saw me slpin.. wanted to wake me up initially.. in e end he's tempted too.. so wakin me up becomes slpin wif me.. hahaha..
now im alone at his place.. he went to sch early in e morning.. he juz called to say he'll b home early todae.. omg.. we r like a married couple.. tis is bad.. he bot cereal n milk for me.. for my breakfast.. it now becomes my lunch.. muahaha.. im a pig!!! he oso filled a glass of water for me coz i always wake up to drink water.. he adjust e fan so tt i wont feel cold n stuffy.. he help me cover blanket n kissed my forehead b4 he leaves.. omg.. its unhealthy tt a nearly-five-month r/s turns out like a 5 yr r/s.. tis is my weakness.. rushing into things.. all my r/s has to b intensive.. me n my partner has to b v close.. i need to feel e emotional bond.. i need alot of reassurance.. coz im always insecure.. y??? not because i lack self confidence.. but all men cant be trusted.. u nv noe wat they say or do behind ur back.. they r prone to doin funny things behind ur back.. ok i sound like im damn pessimistic.. but its a fact.. e world is dark.. darker than u can imagine.. there is too much uncertainty..
leslie asked me tt day when we met for dinner 'do u intend to b wif rs long term?' i dunno how to ans.. he tot we hav been tog for v long.. which in fact.. less than 5 mths.. den last nite.. darlin told me it doesnt seem like 5 mth.. it doesnt seem so long.. wat does it mean??
sometimes i wish im more simple-minded.. i tink too much..hahaha..
